Presence: The Two Showers: How to Tell If You're Really Here
- Mila iloria
- Nov 21
- 3 min read
Are you living your life or just thinking about it? A simple guide to spotting the difference between autopilot and true presence, and how to cross the gap.
You’ve just stepped out of the shower. The day awaits. But here’s a question: did you actually feel the water?
Most of us live in two realities: the one happening around us, and the one running inside our heads. We’re so familiar with the second one that we often mistake it for the first.
But there’s a difference. And once you feel it, your whole relationship with reality shifts.
Let me show you.
The Two States of Being
1. The Autopilot Shower
Your body is under the water. But you? You’re already in your first meeting. You’re replaying a conversation from last night. You’re drafting your grocery list. Your hands move on their own, a well-programmed machine performing a task.
You don’t feel the heat on your skin. You don’t hear the rhythm of the drops. You’re a ghost in your own bathroom. You get out clean, but no more rested or present than when you got in.
2. The Portal Shower
You step in, and you make a choice: to arrive. You feel the sudden shock of warmth, then the gentle pressure on your shoulders. You notice the scent of your soap—really notice it. You hear the white noise of the water hitting the floor.
Your mind isn’t empty. It’s just… quiet. It’s filled with the raw data of the moment, not the commentary about it. For those few minutes, you are not your thoughts. You are a collection of senses, alive and pulsing, right here, right now. You exit feeling reset, not just washed.
Your Phone: The Modern Black Hole of Presence
This doesn’t just happen in the shower. It happens with the device in your hand.
The Scroll Trance: You’re swiping. Your eyes are moving, but you’re not in the room. You’ve been absorbed into the screen. The world around you—the person next to you, the bird outside the window—has dissolved. You are a consumer of digital content, and your physical self has temporarily left the building.
The Anchor of Awareness: Then, something shifts. You feel the cool, hard glass against your palm. You notice the dull ache in your neck from looking down. You consciously lift your gaze and see the room around you again. You remember: "I am here, holding an object. I am breathing."
This isn’t about quitting technology. It’s about reclaiming your choice. It’s the difference between being sucked into a black hole and consciously using a tool.
The Common Thread: Your Body is the Bridge
In both examples, the shift from autopilot to presence happens through one thing: your body.
Your mind lives in the past (regret) and the future (anxiety).
Your body only exists now.
The feeling of water on your skin. The weight of your phone in your hand. The sensation of your feet on the floor. These are your anchors to the present moment. When you focus on them, you are, by definition, here. Not in the story your mind is telling, but in the tangible reality you inhabit.
This is the foundation of everything. This "here-ness" is the ground from which calm, clarity, and authentic creation grow.
A Somatic Check-In Right Now:
Stop reading for a moment.
Feel the weight of your body in your chair.
Notice the temperature of the air on your skin.
Listen to the most distant sound you can hear.
...Welcome back. You just visited the most important place there is: the present.
Did this resonate? This is the space I explore and create from. To see the art that emerges from this state of presence, step into the gallery
